Euphoric Soul

A new dawn has arrived.  A particular heaven has stood above for so long and now it’s around me, beneath me.  I have attained.  I have conquered.  I look back behind me.  So many steps.  So much effort.  It seemed so far away.  So inaccessible.

And now I stand here.  This light, a different light, an alien light generating an aura in my soul, electrifying my spirit.  I made it.  I did it.

I am euphoric.  A rapture from sleep, from grief.  They no longer exist.  I’m high.

Am I different?  I feel different.  My hands have not changed.  I still breathe and thirst.  I look in the mirror.  There are lines in my face that never used to be there.  My hair is whiter, grayer.  This is not the same man that started this journey so long ago.

I took those first steps so eager, jumping two or three at a time.  I was indomitable.  I had a bounce in my step, a swagger.  There was no doubt I would make it.  Nothing was too high.  And than it was.  It was difficult, unforeseen hazards, perils and challenges, stumbling-stones.  Why?  Who put these on my path?

The star gradually pulled away from me, moving in the opposite direction.  It does not love me.  Does not want me.  Vanity?

I reached out for it but it said, No.  Do not touch.  Not yet.  If you desire me, earn me.

There were days I thought to stop and did.  There were nights when I rested and quickly lost sight of the light.  The star above me disappeared completely.  I’ll never make it, I told myself.  I’ll never make it.  I’m lost.  The dream is gone.

Now that I’m here.  Now that the dream is real and I have accomplished, I appreciate the dark, the struggle all the more.  Without it, without the struggle, no euphoria.  No walking on air.  No walking in heaven.

This is bliss.  All my life I had a desire to create a book with my name on it.  The wait for that is over.  I stand on hallowed ground, immersed in glee.  I have authored a novel.

I will look up again.  Be sure of that.  I will find another star to aim for.  But for now, I will relish this tingling illumination, bathe in the boundless bubbles of contentment.

It has been earned and no one can ever take it from me.  It is mine.  All mine.

When I sit and rest, it is no longer dark.  I’m euphoric and I’m in heaven, my heaven.

I’m happy.

3 thoughts on “Euphoric Soul

  1. Robbie says:

    Én már azért is ötöst adnék, aki ilyen melegben még gonÃdlkood¡sra is képes. Na de ez a fagyirecept ??? A kanál hiánya meg egyáltalán nem látszik, amikor már túlvagytok a fagyizáson 🙂 Hajrá! szurkolok Neked a vizsgáidhoz.

  2. Leo Thompson says:

    I am happy for you. You have traveled a difficult road, and earned the right to bask in the light of achievement. You have all my best wishes and love.

    1. A M Werner says:

      THANK YOU! That means so much coming from you! I’m eternally grateful you have been there through all those challenging times. You always have my love.

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