They were trapped. Life had tossed the Whitehall family into a stream of uncertainty and poverty and there was no escaping the prevailing current.
Midonia hated it.
Francis endured it.
Excerpt – The Crystal Crux Series: Betrayal
Chapters 16 – 17 – 18 are devoted to a heated argument between Francis Whitehall and his wife Midonia as they struggle with questions of love, faith, morality, patience, poverty and marriage.
It is 1184, fourteen years before the main story line of The Crystal Crux Series and Francis is like a man working a dead-end job. He emphatically serves Lord Geoffrey Clayton Wolfe who is a well-respected and honorable knight. The Wolfe’s own benevolence, however, has placed him on the edge of ruin. Nearly all of his servants and knights have forsaken him, recanted their oaths and gone to serve other lords. If not for the protection of the crown, whom the Wolfe served loyalty in days of plenty, the Wolfe would have lost everything. He is still hanging on by the tips of his fingers and has nothing to offer those who remain loyal.
Francis is loyal.
Midonia thinks his loyalty is foolish.
And because of Francis’ loyalty, the Whitehall family is forced to live on the road, traveling from tournament to tournament to make ends meet.
Francis isn’t old, but most of his contemporaries are already retired and working for wealthy lords. If they participate in the tournaments, it is for fun, not for a living.
Francis can’t lose. If he loses, his family loses.
“Listen. Listen to your wife. I am not blind. I know you’re a good man, Francis, and you know how much it pains me to say that. Wise up and recant your oath to the Wolfe. Leave him and bind yourself to a worthy lord, to a great man with great possessions and land to distribute. We must have a castle appointment. We must have it soon. I can’t keep living like this.”
Excerpt – The Crystal Crux Series: Betrayal
Midonia is fed up.
Midonia has never been a patient and loving wife. We learn in these chapters how the two came to be wed and it wasn’t arranged. Francis actually won her over and she agreed to marry him, but it didn’t take long for things to go sour.
“Listen to this bleating! This is your issue, not mine. I didn’t want it. None of it. I never wanted children! I hate this fucking tent! I hate our marriage bed! I hate everything about this life! I hate it! I hate it!”
Excerpt – The Crystal Crux Series: Betrayal
To make things more difficult, the Whitehalls have an infant, a nine-month-old born nine months after they were wed.
Francis is supposed to leave and fight in a melee and she’s telling him how much she hates her life and how she doesn’t even want their daughter, Anne. A few minutes before this, she struck Francis, slapping him across the face.
Francis, being the virtuous patient man he is, raised his hand but did not strike her back. But he let her know in no uncertain terms that she would never be allowed to do it again.
“You never knew this Francis, but I nearly prayed once. I nearly fell on my knees and called for the evil one’s help, holding a candle near that tent wall over there.” She pointed. “I tempted myself. Go on, I said. Go on Midonia. Set the world on fire. Watch it burn.”
Excerpt – The Crystal Crux Series: Betrayal
What we are really getting here is a glimpse into hopelessness and desperation, and throughout The Crystal Crux Series, we see nearly all the characters face similar walls of despair. The challenge is, how does each react to being pressed by misery?
Pero de Alava, being the main character of the tale, slips into a world of hurt and dreamlike wonder battling his demons.
Francis eventually seeks solace on the road, searching for a familiar face and anything he can call home again.
Anthea clings to her faith in the Almighty as she hunts for ways to remain steadfast in the face of physical and spiritual attacks.
Rugerius, in the end, looks for something in the eyes and touch of an innocent that he had long lost hope in every finding.
Viridian takes her pain and slips further and further into darkness, a willingness to do anything and become anything to survive and thrive.
“A person lost in the dark wants to be free of the dark. They’ll take any hand that will save them. Be it a man. Be it a god. Be it a devil.”
Excerpt – The Crystal Crux Series: Betrayal
Midonia is making it clear to her husband that she has no faith in anything, but what is happening to her at the present moment. She is willing to grab at anything for salvation, and she wants Francis to be like her.
Francis has spent his life being faith to the unseen Creator of life.
When Midonia really presses him and accuses him of wanting a martyr’s death, Francis has a bit of an awakening. He knows she’s not wrong to question how they are living, and he doesn’t like it any better than she does.
So, Francis offers her a lifeline.
“Come now, Midonia. Hold me. Hold me tight. And kiss me. Kiss me straight and hard. Wish me Godspeed as I go one last time to the tourney field. Be urgent and be honest. Do not lie to me for I will know if you do. Grant me one shimmering instant of your gratitude for all the things I have tried to do for us, and I will serve you and your will. When I return from the melee, I will bow before you. I will get down on my knees. I will worship you and your will. I will recant my oath to the Wolfe and we will return to England immediately. I will find a wealthy lord to serve. I will become a steward if it pleases you. You will have a home, a castle if you wish. And you shall have flowers, immeasurable flowers for all the days of your life. I swear it.”
Excerpt – The Crystal Crux Series: Betrayal
But here’s the thing.
Francis Whitehall is a man of faith and when he offers Midonia this promise, he understands that the Lord’s will, will be done. Not Midonia’s will. The Lord’s will.
And sure enough, Midonia has too much pride to do even this. She feels like she has sacrificed too much already. Hugging him, kissing him and wishing him Godspeed is still too far for her to go. She can’t do it.
Francis was prepared to honor any response. ‘Whatever she decides,’ he thought, ‘it is the Lord’s will working through her even if she doesn’t know it.’
Francis kissed her on the cheek. “I still believe in us, Midonia, even if you don’t. The destination is not clear, but the journey is set. Faith will reveal the path.”
Excerpt – The Crystal Crux Series: Betrayal
And sure enough, to reward Francis’ faith, his eyes are open and he sees the surcoat he has been searching for, the one she wouldn’t help him find. She accidently found it when she was angry and kicking over bins earlier.
Francis now found it which only made her madder. She thinks Francis is somehow mocking her by claiming it is a miracle.
“No, my dear, finding my surcoat is not a miracle. It is a simple reminder that I am blind. I can’t see a damn thing in this world until He reveals it. No one can. And He won’t reveal His truths until they need to be found.”
“Your logic is so twisted, Francis. You think the surcoat wanted to be found?”
“Faith is not in the finding, Midonia. Faith is in the believing it will be found. Surrendering one’s heart to the timeliness of the Almighty. Because I choose to live by faith, I could not find the surcoat when I wanted to find it. I found it when it needed to be found. If not, we wouldn’t have had this discussion, this disagreement, this argument. Whatever the future holds for us now, we are better prepared to face it.”
“That has to be the stupidest thing I ever heard you say.”
Rejuvinated, Francis inhaled a deep breath. “I feel tenacious. No one can beat me today.” He made a fist. “There is a change in the air, Midonia. Do you feel it? God is here. He is in this tent. He is out in the field. He is with us. Things are going to happen. The angels are moving amongst us. Today is truly special.”
“Well, I don’t feel a goddamn thing, Francis. The air is hot, and I live in a goddamn tent.”
“You don’t pray enough Midonia. Maybe you should pray while I am gone. Seek some answers from the Lord. Learn to see beyond the heat and the misery which controls you.” With a satisfied smile, Francis tossed the surcoat over his shoulder and fled.
Excerpt – The Crystal Crux Series: Betrayal
Those who have read the books knows that this was a very important day in Francis’ life and the events on the tourney field change everything.
Francis’ faith wins out.
That’s all I got today.
Stay inspired and keep reading!
Author Allen M Werner 
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