“You don’t need anyone. You love God and he loves you. The whole world could cease to exist, and you wouldn’t care. It’s all so neat and perfect, so orderly.” Her eyes lit upon Anne in the manger. “And her? You probably love God more than you love her.” Midonia smirked.
Those words stung. They were meant to sting.”
Excerpt – The Crystal Crux Series: Betrayal

I hope the readers don’t mind but I am kind of in this mindset to talk about this argument between Francis and Midonia because it did take up three chapters and a lot of nuances of the story were revealed here.
Francis is a devout knight of faith, and his wife is provoking him and pushing him, challenging him and tempting him.
This has a lot to do with the complex issues facing Pero de Alava throughout the entire series.
Francis Whitehall has already been where Pero de Alava is. He has already faced the Shades and demons and won. He’s an experienced soul who does not even know, has been to Eliade. He is known in Eliade. He is revered in Eliade.
Even when Francis appears to be weakening and losing, he’s not. His faith is steadfast and his faith gets him out of troubles when he hits walls and loses all other options.
He understands what it is to humbly surrender to the will of the Creator.
Francis is stung by Midonia’s words.

“I don’t know where you are going with this, Midonia, but I can’t imagine losing you or Anne. You shouldn’t give such darkness life.”
Excerpt – The Crystal Crux Series: Betrayal

I’m personally not a superstitious person but I do believe that spiritually we need to be cautious and careful with our words.
We can manifest and invite trouble into our lives if we are not careful.
Francis understands this.
Midonia does not.
And for anyone who has read the books, they know what happens later in the story when this particular darkness comes to life.

“I am not perfect. I can’t resist everything. You and Anne weaken me. To do my job, I can’t focus on my weaknesses without falling into hopelessness.”
Excerpt – The Crystal Crux Series: Betrayal

And as Francis goes out into the tourney field, to his job, he takes this mentality with him. And as Francis later tells Pero on the drawbridge, when asked why he risked everything to come save him, he did it because of his daughter. He saved Pero, a stranger then, because of his daughter.
For Francis, disobeying his faith would have made him unworthy to preach and teach his faith to others. Even if it were to cost him his life, he had to act on his faith. He can’t focus on his weaknesses – and he knows his greatest weakness is his family. He knows he might do the wrong thing if he is thinking about them and not his duty to the Creator.

Pero expresses this exact same struggle on the drawbridge, and he has no children with Anthea yet. He’s not even married to her yet. He’s seeing them as a hinderance, a hinderance he can’t manage.
Pero’s faith is on the edge of a cliff, and he is losing his balance. He’s teetering.
Francis knows all about the cliff and teetering.

“The loss of one dream, no matter how vital that dream may seem, cannot destroy the entire sphere of visions we have as human beings. We are galaxies of possibilities and one day in heaven, as if staring into a mirror, our true self will be revealed. I want to love that reflection, not despise it.”
Excerpt – The Crystal Crux Series: Betrayal

A couple of things here.
First, the dreams. Francis has lots of dreams which he calls hopes. He understands that sometimes dreams become unreachable from our point of view as human beings.
But, if we walk in the Creator’s light, we have a galaxy of possibilities still living inside of us. We might not understand why our hopes were never to be while we were alive, but quoting from scripture, 1Corinthians 13:12, we can see the truth about ourselves one day when we face the Maker.

Pero, in one of his future dream states, is naked and walking towards the sun on a pristine path. He thinks he is going to heaven, to a city of some sort.
But he slams into a giant wall of gold, and the shimmering wetness of the gold wall allows him to see himself – his reflection – and he does not like what he sees.
Has Francis slammed into that wall also?
Is the memory of slamming into that wall and seeing a darker side of himself now just an intricate grain of virtue in his human makeup?

Midonia shook her head in disbelief. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about, Francis. What the hell did you just say? That makes no sense. Galaxies? Mirrors? Reflections? You are trying to make sense out of nonsense. No one does that. No one has faith like that.”
Excerpt – The Crystal Crux Series: Betrayal

Midonia is not a believer. She doesn’t believe in anything that isn’t tangible and comforting for her. She doesn’t believe in sacrifice or putting things out there on faith. It’s all nonsense to her.
The reader is challenged to ask themselves, are they more like Francis or Midonia?
Many of us want to believe we are like Francis, but are we really?
How much are we willing to lose because of our faith?
Francis has fought this battle many times and is steady in his approach to it.
Pero is young and learning. This is a question that is forcing him to accept a foolhardy quest.
What does he stand on?
What does he stand for?
What causes him to flee?
Who does he bow and surrender to?
Life is challenging.
The Crystal Crux Series is about facing those difficult challenges.

Until next time, stay inspired and keep reading!

Betrayal: Another Note of Nuance: This One Of Faith